Kei lets go of my hand after tightly holding onto it, for the very first time I felt the warmth slipping away. It was not there anymore, my hands are cold and aching to be held again. ‘No, Kei! Don’t go, don’t leave me!’ That hand of mine reached out for him, wanting to feel that heat and grasp again, but he does not turn around and he is not going to come back now. Coldness, it stole the heat from me and froze my legs into place. I can’t chase after him, as the coldness spreads everywhere and it reached my heart. Tears froze into place on my cheeks and my eyes were soon covered by this coldness. As everything fades into darkness, I only hear his footsteps getting further and further till they can’t even be heard. I’m hated by him; Kei hates me and probably everyone else too... It’s hopeless; everything will eventually fade like this...
“Ami snap out of it, Ami? Ami! Wake up!” This deep voice calls to me; my eyes flutter and fly open to the binding setting sun. I blink hard and try to make out the face of who is it, I recognize the spiky chestnut hair and emerald coloured eyes from anywhere.
“Yue...?” I mumble finally, his face lights up and he leans my head against the tree trunk. I am where I was when I had all those weird...dreams...?
“Man, you scared me! Are you okay?” He smiles full of relief and something else, but I couldn’t tell what.
“Um,” I pause for a second, if I answer too quickly he’ll doubt me, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Yue helps me up and holds onto my bag for me, “Come on, it’s getting late. I’ll take you home Ami.”
“Oh, thanks Yue.” When did Yue become this kind to me?
We begin walking home, Yue is unusually quiet again and for some reason he isn’t asking me anything about why I was sleeping outside. Right before we turn the corner to my neighbourhood Yue stops suddenly and he quietly whispers, “I saw.”
I stop as well and turn to him, “Huh? What do you mean?”
Yue’s peaceful face dissolves into sadness, “I saw what he did.”
My heart skips a beat, him? Does he mean Kei? What do I say? I decide to play it cool, “Hmm? Him...? Who do you mean Yue?”
Yue grinds his teeth, “Him, I mean Kei.”
I freeze all over; Yue saw Kei... and that girl? I remain silent as I listen to Yue’s breathing get heavier, he is obviously angry.
Yue starts, “I was in the classroom above the entrance, and I saw everything that happened. Everything starting from you seeing him at the gates and begin walking towards him. Then, you stopping in your tracks, because Kei was walking home with another girl. Finally, you hiding behind that tree and crying your eyes out till you pass out. I saw it all Ami.”
I lose my breath and I begin to notice myself breathing faster, I can’t say anything to retaliate...
Yue grips my bag firmly, “If I was Kei, I would never do that to you...”
Another beat of my heart gone, “What?”
Yue drops my bag and grabs my arms; his movements are rough, but his clasp is gentle, “I said, if I was Kei, I would never do that to you. If I had met you when you were young instead of him, you wouldn’t cry...because...I-I would never hurt you like that...”
Yue continues on, “Ami...I’ve always been looking out for you, I try to only be a friend and not get in between you and Kei, but I can’t stand him treating you this way. You’re so delicate... it feels like if you get hurt anymore, you’ll shatter into millions of pieces. You’re precious Ami; you’re precious to me...”
Hearing all that, I can’t help the tears run down my cheeks. I feel happy for once, happy that someone appreciates me to this extent... “I’m not hated...” I whisper so quietly Yue didn’t even hear.
Yue lets go of my arms and begin franticly wiping my tears with his hands, “I-I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
I smile through my tears, “No, don’t be sorry Yue. I’m just ...happy...”
Yue sighs and crouches down; he covers his face while he talks, “Man... I don’t get you...You cry when you’re sad, you cry when you’re happy. I just confessed you know, least give me a better answer then tears.”
I flinch, Yue just...confessed?!?!! I stammer with nervousness, “I...I...I...”
“Ami, it’s okay. I don’t want to force you to answer, I’ll wait for it. I’ll wait forever if I have to.” Yue thankfully interrupts me and stands back up. He picks up my bag and smiles again, “Come on, let’s get you home now.”
I return his smile with my own, “Okay.”
Yue walks ahead for a bit. In my mind flashes Kei walking away from me. In the night, Yue is disappearing into the darkness and again I’m being left behind. I move my legs and I call out to him, “Wait Yue...!”
I expected him to keep walking and ignore me, but he doesn’t. He halts and turns around; he shows me that silly grin, “Come on princess.” He holds out his hand, gesturing me to follow him.
I beam; I quickly run up to him and grab his hand. “It’s warm...” I whisper.
“What’s warm?” Surprisingly, he heard me.
I squeeze his hand softly, “Your hand, it's so warm...”
“Really princess...? Maybe you’re just cold!”
“Yeah...maybe I am and hey Yue?”
“Hmm...? What?”
“Why are you calling me princess?”
He laughs, “Well...because I’m your knight in shining armour.”
I close my eyes, I understand everything now. Kei and the girl are in the far distance now, still holding each other’s arms and laughing blissfully. Oh, how I’ve missed that laugh and smile of Kei’s, the one I haven’t seen in about 4 years. The girl seems very nice and cheerful, someone like I was before his sudden change in attitude towards me. She looks quite beautiful; her long wavy blonde hair matches well with Kei’s jet black hair. I smile to myself, did I force that smile or did I really mean it? Just maybe, Kei is just being nice and taking her home, or even they’re just studying together....... My smile drops, the dam breaks loose and all my tears I’ve been holding back flush down.
–This is pathetic Ami. - A quiet voice whispers into my ear.
‘What did I do wrong to deserve this kind of ending? Can someone tell me why?’ I plea in my thoughts...
-Then, will you stop making excuses for him? – The voice sneers at me.
“Who is it? Is it you Una?” I call out, but there is no one around me.
-Idiot, just closes your eyes. – It commands and I obediently follow its directions. I shut my eyes and everything is dark, I certainly feel that way too.
-Hi there idiot. – In the darkness, a girl steps out of the shadows. I gasp in shock and open my eyes, light restores and the girl also disappears. ‘Have I gone insane?’
-No you idiot, now just be a good girl and listen to me. Close your eyes and keep them shut! –
I consider it for a second, well I have nothing to lose and if I’m insane...I guess I am insane then... I shut them again, my world is plunge into darkness again and the girl is walking towards me.
-About time you listen, idiot. - She smirks at me.
‘Who are you?’ I stop myself from shaking, but it’s hard.
-All of you people always ask who are you? What are you doing? Why are you doing this? I’m getting tired of introducing myself actually. Do you really fear what you don’t know?-
‘Just answer me.’ I demand.
-Ah, a feisty one we have here huh? -
I take a closer look at her features, her hair is long like mine but instead of light brown it is purplish-blue like a bruise. She is short and everything about her is petite. Her eyes are pitch blackness that seem to go on forever, I am certain if I stare into them I’d get lost. She’d stand out in a crowd easily, but one thing made her stand out even more. On her back is a pair of wings, not angel wings or demon wings, but flower petals shaped into something like wings.
I can’t help what wonder what she is.
-I’m definitely not human. – She smiles at my thoughts which she obviously can read; -I am Matal, the blossom of Geiku. -
‘Geiku...What’s Geiku?’ I ask in confusion.
-Do you not know of the Great Geiku Tree? You must, because that is where it all started. –
‘Huh? What do you mean? What started where?’
Matal puts her hands to cover her mouth, a sign of astonishment and shakes her head slightly in disapproval.
-I guess I will have to explain everything to this idiot.-
I ignore her rude comments and wait for the explanation.
-Geiku is the sacred oak tree in this town’s outer forest area, from long ago Geiku can make whatever is carved into its bark to come true. For instance, if you carve wealth and your name onto the bark of Geiku, you will gain an enormous amount of money. However, after your wish has been granted, your memory of Geiku will be erased and you will never be able to make a second wish.-
‘A sacred...oak tree in the forest... what’s that got to do with me and your appearance?’
-Patience human, let me finish explaining. Now, I am the blossom of Geiku and my job is to take care of wishes that went wrong. Geiku is wise and understands the values of a human’s heart. If a wish is made purely for the good, it will come true, but if it isn’t... Geiku will punish you...-
‘...Kei being like this towards me...is this the punishment of Geiku? But, I haven’t ever made a wish on Geiku!!’
-Well...um you see... You didn’t make the wish, Kei did. - Matal begins to flush uncomfortably.
‘Kei wanted to hate me? What do you mean?’
-No no, it’s not like that. You must remember a part of it? I’ve been showing your that dream for a weeks now, trying to get you to understand what’s going on.-
My mind flashes to the dream I had earlier today; Kei and I holding hands, him asking for us to be together forever, and Kei carving those words into a ...huge oak tree.... ‘Oh my god.... You mean... Kei didn’t want to be with me forever?’
-No, idiot, Geiku read his heart during that time; he purely meant to stay with you forever, but... –
‘But...What??’
-Kei was only a child, when he was carving into the bark of Geiku... he accidentally made a mistake...-
My mouth drops open, ‘Did he misspell my name or his name? Or did he misspell forever??’
Matal shakes her head slightly again, -No... None of that was misspelled... it was the... heart he drew. He accidentally cracked the heart open with the rock on Geiku’s bark...-
‘He...cracked open the heart... like almost a broken heart?’
-Yes... Geiku can only follow the wishes carved into his bark, so Kei will forever break your heart Ami.-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Right there, I think I fainted.
He held my hand so tightly; I can still remember that warmth of his hand spreading onto mine. He was reluctant to let go, but he did and ran towards that huge oak tree. In his other hand, was a sharp rock which he grasped as tightly as he did with my hand. He turned to me, his face flushed with redness, his voice stuttered with embarrassment as he asked once more, “Together forever, right?” I felt blood rush to my own face, I replied him with an energetic nod and bright smile. He swung his head back around to the tree and started to carve something into it. I watched him as he struggled with the hardness of the bark, but he finally managed to finish it in the end. I don’t know when I finally realized how important he was to me, when we were growing up or at that moment when I saw what he had carved. He turned to me again; I still remember that expression on his face that sweet and silly grin and beside him are the words that still linger in my mind...
“Kei loves Ami forever”
“Are you alright Ami?” Una asks me with concern. My heavy eyes open to my friend’s troubled face.
I smile lightly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just that dream again...” Una, my best friend ever since grade 8 has always been there for me ever since...
Una frowns, “You know, you tell me you don’t like him anymore... but your heart obviously thinks otherwise.”
“I really can’t help it Una...”
“Yes you can! You’re always so gloomy and depressed, where did your cheerfulness go Ami?”
“.......”
“I bet that jerk took it with him too, huh?”
“He’s not a jerk... He just has different friends and different interests; h-he’s just busy...”
Una sighs, “There you go again, making excuses for him. I’m going to class now.”
The boy in my dream is Kei, the now all-popular and handsome known prince in our school. Who am I? I’ve asked myself so many times and I come to the conclusion of “Forgotten childhood friend.” It fits me well, a friend that the prince had forgotten because he had moved on. Kei just stopped talking to me when we entered junior high, as if I was invisible, he ignores me whenever I talk to him. It’s been 3 years since then, now we’re in high school together, but there is still no improvements...In fairytales, books and movies, the girl always ends up with her one and only prince in the end. I thought Kei was the prince I was looking for when I was 7, where is my happy ending?
I gather my books to go, as I step into the hallway I bump into the chest of someone. I freeze for a second, “Oh god, can it be Kei?” I know that he always came to school early like I did, or more like I come to school early for a chance to run into him. I look up to meet his face, “You should be careful Ami. Carrying so many books will turn you into a bookworm!” The voice is not Kei’s, but Yue’s; a very friendly and cheerful guy I’ve known since grade 7.
“Oh it’s Yue, sorry about that.” I mutter quietly as I try to pass by him; however he stops me in my path.
“What, did you expect someone else to bump into?” He laughs, but his eyes are tight.
“No, I’m surprised I bumped into a dope so early in the morning.”
“Why are you always so bitter Ami? Did I do something to make you hate me?” Yue’s question stuns me for a second, but his grin didn’t impress me.
“Bright people like you just don’t match well with gloomy people like me.” I answer him plainly and try to pass him again.
“But you’re fine with Kei?” He snaps with a hint of anger in his voice.
‘Why is he mad?’ I thought furiously, I turn around and face him directly, “I’m not ‘fine’ with Kei, why do you all assume that we’re together or something?! It’s been years since we’ve talked, he always ignores me when I even try to talk to him, now will you just drop it?!” I stop myself from yelling at him, my face must be red from being this angry.
Yue’s stupid smirk drops and he looks away from my glare, “I-I’m sorry.”
“No need to say sorry, I have to get that off my chest anyways...” I sigh in comfort that he’ll drop the subject.
After that, we silently walk to class each other, but it feels different since Yue is a chatterbox. I sneak a couple looks at his expression; his face is a mix of relief and confusion. I grin to myself since it is the first time I’ve seen such a look on Yue’s face, maybe it’ll finally be quiet for once.
After classes, I wait at the gates for Una. She moved into my neighbourhood a few months ago, so we walk home with each other every day. ‘She’s kind of late; I wonder if she got detention again.’ I closed my eyes and began to daydream about things. School, Una, Yue and Kei, all the things just connects together in my life for some reason... I open my eyes and look around for Una. From the corner of my eyes, I spot someone I haven’t seen in a while, Kei. I felt my mouth stretch itself into a big smile, my heart lit up with hope. Kei is standing near the school doors; he takes a look at his watch and checks around him. My legs move themselves toward him; my mind is a mess trying to think of things to say to him. A girl comes through the doors and calls his name; Kei hears her and smiles at her nicely. I stop dead in my tracks and watch the scene unfold like a movie playing.
-Snap-
The girl calls Kei’s name, Kei smiles at her.
-Snap-
Girl goes up to Kei and holds his arm, Kei looks happy.
-Snap-
Kei and Girl walk to the school gates happily together like a couple.
-Snap-
I run and hide behind a tree nearby as Kei and the girl pass me.
-Snap-
Kei and Girl is talking and laughing.
-Snap-
Kei and Girl are walking home together.
-Snap-
So much for a happy ending.
